If you're only reading the blog once a day, you should scroll down and be sure you didn't miss a post.
It's 11pm. I called just to see.
The procedure was completed earlier this evening. His night nurse said: "His brain pressures are still very unstable right now to be honest." His fever is still present. He is struggling with his blood pressure as well. I know they adjust medications for those things so I don't worry about them as much.
I'm at a loss at what else to say. There isn't much at this point. Everything feels pretty numb.
His little dog barks now everytime I walk by. She's yelling at me. I wrap her little body with non functional leggies up in a towel. She's my doggie burrito. I curl around my youngest baby boy who will turn one in three short weeks with litle Corkie smack in the middle of us. I watch them both sleep so peacefully and I pray that God will grant me a little bit of rest too.
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God Bless you Randi, I am eager to get your updates on your father but tonight hit me so hard. Tears of sadness but reality is reality. I miss him.
ReplyDeleteI pray you, your baby and Corky get some rest, sleep well.
Petra
Dear Randi,
ReplyDeleteSo far, I've been one of the many who haven't been able to post--words just elude me. But by now there are probably thousands silently praying for Allan and your family as this news travels amongst our community and beyond. Thank you for your beautiful words throughout this torturous time. You are an angel to your dad and to those who love him. God be with you, Allan, and your family.
Love and Blessings, Valery Goodell
God....Grant us the Serenity to accept the things we cannot change...
ReplyDeleteThe courage to change the things we can...
And the wisdom to know the difference.
I am sure that many of us, including myself, have no more words. I just sit here at my computer,tears flowing. I pray for Allan,his family and friend's peace.
Leslie Rohrdanz
I drove across the new dam road last night. It is clear they cut through the mountain to make the new road. I could see in my mind the old one. When Vicki and I were learning to ride our own Harleys, Allan would slowly lead us up the steep and windy Dam Road which we would navigate safely, across the top and down the other side... The learning curve for us was such that it required a ton of patience - and Allan possessed it with delight. We would be riding in the middle of the Sierras somewhere high on a back road going whereever his free spirit decided only to end up at a ridiculously fabulous roadhouse for the best lunch in the State. His Allan-isms: "We're not lost of we don't care where we're going." Still make me LOL... Allan, I know you can hear me, thank you so, so much.
ReplyDeleteRandi...you are an extraordinary woman.
xoxox Heather
Randi fauthful child part of a prayer.
ReplyDeleteIn the big things we are as one. It's the small things that cause mortal differences.
Allan's difficulties lend these mere mortals a chance at peace and serenity. HP has our best interests available when I accept & surrender.
I maybe blessed with grieving in a few seconds/minutes. If each grieves as long as it takes. A personal sense of peace is their reward. For that I'm grateful that 12 steps are effective to so many others lives release personal past indiscretions and thinking. Welcome to the 4th dimension.
May we all belive our gratitude to the HP recognize many 12 steppers the sought after sense of peace and surrender. this what mean as FUN!
Bless Have Fun vegibob
Randi, I don't know if you remember us. It's Traci & Jimmie Maricle. Lisa told me what happened. we are in TX and cannot be there for y'all but please tell Vicki that you are all in our prayers. I pray for a miracle. We serve a big God and I trust that His will will prevail. I am heartbroken to hear about Big Al. Although there has been distance, Al & Vicki will always hold a special place in our hearts. Traci
ReplyDeleteIm here in Arizona and also praying for Allan.
ReplyDeleteKathy W