Allan's pressures have been a little lower today. At times they have gone up and down according to what was going on in his room. But overall the procedure seems to be relieving some pressure. Nothing other to report health wise.
Roseville Police was at the hospital today working on their reports of the accident. Vicki talked with them a while. Some clarifications were told as to what happened.
The other vehicle was a Toyota Highlander stopped at a red light. The driver had a passenger in the vehicle. She apparently had brief time to notice in her rear view that Allan was coming and coming fast and not going to be able to stop.
There are over 100 feet of skid marks from Allan braking. He tried to turn and just barely clipped her vehicle on the back right side. The damage was minor. No mention of a "popped tire" on her vehicle was made as previously was thought. Her and passenger were uninjured.
His bike bucked him up in the air at this point and he flew about 10-15 feet up, and landed in front of her vehicle...likely on his right side. He immediately sat up and they had to force him to lay down and be still.
People at the scene have shown pictures of these things. Everyone has a camera on their cell phone now so there apparantly is more than one video/photo. Of course none of these are things we have seen, but this is just from the officers doing the report to help with clarity.
I'd like to get down to the hospital this evening and sit with dad for while. There are still issues with people calling or actually making their way inside. It saddens me deeply. It seems selfish to me. Certain people are making it about them, when it's just really not. Allan's health-his life hang in the balance and yet people somehow feel justified because of thier pain. As if we don't all feel it. It really sucks. A part of me is tempted to make it public knowledge just exactly who can't get on board and include phone numbers and addressess. But that is just my frustration with the ordeal so I stay silent.
I know in my heart how badly this hurts all of us. And I mean ALL. I know how badly everyone involved is hurting. I don't think Allan would want all of this right now. It's too much. I believe with all my being that he would agree to the very short list of hand holders we made. We worked hard with several neutral parties to make a phase one list and a phase two list. We made these lists according to what Allan would want. We were fair. We were all on board. It's not phase two yet, and phase two people are trying to bulldog in. I hope and pray he doesn't feel the effects of it all...and yet that would also mean he's not there enough to feel the effects of any of it.
There's another meeting with his social worker at some point today-at least via the telephone for me. I'm not happy about the security issues, and although they are sick of having to deal with it, so are we. It's so sad and so immature that it comes down to this.
Continuing to pray that the Lord Allan knows and loves will guide us in all our decisions. Humans lets us down. God just Is. And...I know, He's watching.
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Thank you Randi ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou are comforting so many people by sharing information, while we all know how hard it is on you. I hope with this journaling you are finding some comfort?
God bless, a friend
It's important to me, right now, to put my own feelings or needs of comfort aside and be a voice for my dad.
ReplyDeleteI know accurate information is important, especially because on the same hand we are asking people to restrain themselves.
I don't want his nurses to leave his side to answer questions, or even bring me a kleenex when I see him. I want them in there doing their jobs and only that. I certainly don't want them resentful over drama as they take his life under their care.
Sometimes it takes me an hour to get a post made. I stop and just let the tears flow. And late at night...when all is silent in my home and my babies are sleeping, I let my heart break just a little bit. The powerlessness sinks in deeply. I email a close friend who's ears I have taken hostage...even if it's full of explicitives.
And then I give it back to God. I take a deep breath. I put on my big girl pants and I go about my buisness. For him. For my family. Because it's the right thing to do.
And I believe with all my being that he's smiling about it all.
Alan knows he is loved and he now more than anything needs our prayers- let his family be there for him... go home and light a candle for Alan and keep it burning...Let Gods Will be done for he knows what is best for his son Alan. I will keep him close to my heart and in my prayers. God Bless you Randi...
ReplyDeleteRandi, you have every right to your feelings and I also think that it is so very selfish of the people that are interfering during this most stressful time in your life. PEOPLE, LEAVE THE FAMILY AND HOSPITAL ALONE AND BE GRATEFUL FOR UPDATES ON THIS BLOG!! Randi you have gone over and beyond any duties to any of us by your postings, which I know are heartbreaking and difficult. Please take care of yourself so that you can be there for your dad, that is what is most important. Everyone else will just have to wait. Take care sweetheart. Love to you and God Bless...Sylvia
ReplyDeleteRandi,Brothers and Sisters in Christ and AA friends, and others.
ReplyDeleteListen to what Randi is telling you. PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM THE HOSPITAL UNLESS YOU ARE CALLED TO GO.
NO family member is being selfish with this request, it is US that need to be on our knee's and LET GOD DO WHAT HIS WILL IS NOT OURS.
Allan knows how much you love him and he will recieve it through your prayers. Thank you Randi for who you are and what you are doing for all of us. Love you so much Beverly
Thank you so much Randi for all you are doing, God Bless you sweetie, this is hard, painful stuff and God is lending you His strength to do what is right. You are putting Allan's needs first and that is LOVE. I know our God is holding Allan and all of your precious family right now in His Hands, and that is enough for this day........We will keep praying for you all. Much Love, Auntie Mary
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your updates and for being a voice for your father. I pray to God to comfort you and your family and to give you strength during this hard time.
ReplyDeleteYou are an angel, whether you know it or not, and whether you believe it or not. Should I come across anyone who is planning on visiting, I will speak with them and direct them to this blog. I am sending you blessings, love, light, and joy. I know joy sounds strange at this time, yet it is exactly what is needed. Fortunately, joy will wait until you are ready to receive and feel it.
ReplyDeleteAllan and all his friends and family are in God's loving, caring hands. There is nothing too big for God.
Randi, you are performing such a valuable service for your Dad and us. I appreciate these blogs and send you, specifically, an angel. His name is Michael (yes, that Michael) and he carries a large sword. When you feel you are getting weighed down by everything...Ask Archangel Michael to cut the invisible, emotional cords that feel like they are hanging on you like heavy chains. Michael will never cut the cords of love that connect us to each other.
In Love, Light, and Gratitude, Bridgette Adriana
May God bless you Randi, as you continue to be the pillar of strength for the hundreds of us reading this blog. Your reward is great in Heaven!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding us that Allan's needs must come first and also for acknowledging that those of us who love him so much just really want to hold our friend's hand. Your dad must be so proud of you.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to share something with you, his family and friends. Last night I made my weekly trip to Folsom Prison where I get to attend a 12-step meeting in C-Facility. Without going into detail, let me just say that each member of the group gets a turn at sharing their feelings, if they want to. Some are funny, some are rude yet others are really heartfelt. Just before it was to be my turn one of the men talked about his struggle with finding a God. I told them about a good friend of mine who always says "My God is really really big, I will share my God with you until you can find one of your own". I then got to share my really really big friend with these men, many of whom are doing life without parole. When the meeting ended and we formed the circle for the Lord's Prayer, one after another of these men offered their prayers in honor of Big Al (And his loved ones). Allan has touched so many lives, even the lives of people he has never met. I am really missing my friend.
I will echo what others have already said and thank you so much for your incredible updates on your dad. Please remember this however, your dad would be the first to remind you to take care of yourself. With love, Cheryl Penney (and Timmy)
Rsndi, your posts are more than informative, explaining your feelings. Especially letting untrained people in on the damages. Plus giving us a look into your 'soul'. Applying the 'Golden Rule' as a greter understanding this ghuide for living a peascefully and serenely
ReplyDeleteAsking 'lay' friends let Allan have every chance possible. May be your best possible caring help.to Allan. and those praying that Allan retains his dignity, trust and hope through anything he can know. The picture of Allan in bed shows the smiling demeanor of courage. Lets Letting go [easier?] loving allan and family gives confidence learning courage of these adversities faced.
Bless vegibob
You are a daughter women pray to be when the time comes. I picked up your blog through a motorcycle group at my chuch - email spreads word fast. You & yours are lifted by me & mine.
ReplyDeleteWhile reading everyones comments something blew me away. A person talked about attending a weekly trip to Folson for a 12 step meeting and the sharing of stories, God, love. It overwhelmed me. It touched me deep.
I know by reading your blog, your details, your reasonings, that you are a good person. And the people who respond to you are good people. God loving God fearing people.
God Bless you Randi. Thank you for the glimps of such are a large unit!